Frankenfood
By Lonnie Lowery | ||||||||||||||||
Halloween is just around the corner and while most poor buggers are afraid of werewolves, vampires, poltergeists and the like, Lonnie Lowery doesn't bat an eye when it comes to facing those particular types of monsters. Instead, he's afraid of particular types of food, food created by evil scientists hell-bent on bringing about the destruction of man, or at least the destruction of man's waistline. He calls these foods FRANKENFOODS! So hide quietly beneath your covers as he tells you all about them! Mary Shelly warned us. Well-intended or not, our bastardization of nature has its consequences. Just as a mad scientist might sew-together a hodgepodge of parts that were never meant to be, so too does our food industry combine all manner of ingredients that were never tested as "biologically compatible" by the wisdom of mother nature. We may not be dealing with a grotesque monosyllabic monster in a literal sense, but our over-creative toying with foods has created monstrous problems. Obesity is epidemic, diabetes is on the rise, heart disease is our number one killer. Even those who exercise fairly regularly can find themselves struggling with body fat and related health issues. Yet bizarrely, rather than choosing wholesome foods or better ways to exercise, we're often taught portion-control as we live and eat in a world of processed, pre-packaged abominations. Where does this leave a physique-conscious person like you? Without good dietary judgment, it could leave you a frustrated, metabolic and hormonal train wreck struggling to get off that muscle-blurring body fat in a world polluted by "frankenfoods." Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would say if he walked into a modern grocery store. Probably something like: "Where;s the FOOD?" He'd see aisle after isle of brightly colored cans, boxes and bags of tasty, processed, confectionary delights. But he'd be thinking: "Don't these people eat actual food? Where are the lean cuts of meat, the fruits and the vegetables? That's what we used to eat." They're along the side or in the rear of the store, Grandpa. They're stuck over there because they're boring and nobody eats actual food anymore. Perhaps saddest of all is that those of us who want to stay lean without being hungry all the time are offered "health foods" that are just as false and freaky as the junk foods. Let's take a look at foods that you may have in your own cupboard. Foods that leave your body wondering how the heck it's going to deal with them Low-fat Peanut Butter Margarine When I use margarine, it's an olive oil-based, trans fat-free type. Or, on occasion, I even use actual butter. Or how about just getting used to life without it? Learn to suck it up, you pampered child of the kindly West! You're just smearing fat on your carbs by remaining dependent on buttered toast and margarine-fried pancakes. Not good for a dieter. These foods aren't really that different from donuts; would you diet on those? Listen, margarine at least in its original form was basically a mistake. Even if it is a modern-day staple. On holidays, I still find myself smiling at how far society has drifted into our fancy new hydrogenated world when my mom announces "I'm serving this with REAL butter!" Fat-free hotdogs and bologna Admittedly, however, not everyone agrees on the carcinogenic potential of n-nitroso compounds.(1, 6) One study found significant relationships between hotdog consumption and brain cancer in kids especially those rugrats who didn't get a multivitamin.(11) Not good. I don't even want to think about how many hotdogs and bologna sandwiches I ate as a kid. Although an upcoming summer picnic can admittedly leave me buying a pack of low-fat dogs for indulgence ("real" hotdogs and bologna are similarly abominable), this stuff just has no place in a bodybuilder's usual diet. Fat free ice cream Of course, we can take the advice of certain nutrition authorities and self-enforce rigorous portion control frustrating ourselves on a nightly basis with a mere quarter cup! Why do this to yourself? Time once more to suck it up and lose the crutch. Historically, Frankenfoods have been myopic mistakes that folks use as a crutch (unwittingly to their own detriment) rather than learning REAL, biologically correct dietary choices. It has yet to dawn on us that our efforts to make something "healthy" that was never meant to be anything but a rare treat backfires more often than not. By trying to fool Mother Nature, we have perennially created abominations that catch up with us in the long run. Why frustrate yourself continually when learning not to crave Frankenfoods (which admittedly takes months for most of us) is so much more logical? Then, if you want the REAL stuff on a special occasion, go eat a big bowl without guilt. Diet Pop Still (and sadly) it's a big improvement over the even more tooth-rotting,(2) occasionally sodium and caffeine providing, nutrition-less AND sugary soda pops. Did you know that pop is being called "liquid candy" by researchers?(13) Did you know that Pepsi has a pH of just 2.4?(14) Yikes! Whose teeth wouldn't demineralize? I personally don't want to swish around in my mouth and then actually swallow something that would eat a hole through my living room carpet. Here's a tip: go drink some freaking water. If you need some flavoring to help increase consumption, find some spring water with a twist of lime or perhaps small amounts of sucralose flavoring. (I realize sucralose isn't natural either but after decades on aspartame, I'd rather ditch the aspartame for a while when I use sweeteners at all.) If you're a diet pop junkie, try replacing just one diet soft drink daily with water containing a twist of lemon or lime; barely-sweetened green tea is a great choice too. And regarding your teeth, mineral waters are a research-supported "safe alternative to more erosive acidic beverages"(10) not to mention they actually give your body a fluid it recognizes. By sweetening drinks yourself, you can titrate the sweetness downward each month. Over time you'll actually lose your taste for ultra-sweet Frankenfoods. Regular Hamburger It's true that the term "corn-fed beef" does sound appetizing to a carnivore like me but "grass-fed beef" is far superior. The fatty acid composition is much better suited for hardcore bodybuilders and health conscious folks alike (see Good Fat and Where It's At). Although I am grateful that agriculture successfully maintains much of the world population, I am also grateful that I live in a culture that provides a biologically correct alternative. Bread It's been stripped of most of the grain's benefits and artificially fortified a bit in an effort to resuscitate it. It's so insulinogenic that it's actually used in glucose tolerance tests (e.g. in labs to spike blood sugar/ insulin as rapidly as possible). This kind of food doesn't exactly lend itself to fullness and satisfaction. In fact, did you know that 76% of foods offer more satiety than white bread?(4) This stuff needs to be saved only for post-workout periods. And the "wheat" bread you see is usually just white bread dyed brown. It's like a fat guy with a tan. He's still a fat guy. Unless it specifically says "whole wheat" in the ingredients list, it's not. The fiber content and other nutrients are just like white bread. Besides, if you've been feeling good about consuming the usual brown stuff instead of white, ask yourself what the white stuff is made of wheat, duh! Canned Vegetables My guess is that you've had a hard time complying with recommendations to eat more vegetables; do you think those daily canned, gray, salty "Franken-beans" are helping? Have you ever thought: Oh yeah! Give me a second helping! Conversely, a purposeful attempt to buy a different bag (or three) of fresh or frozen veggies each week can go a long way toward complying with your diet and reverse your downward spiral into that hormonal-metabolic-physique trainwreck we mentioned earlier. You've just got to take a moment and think about preparing them in a quick, visually-appealing way. Summary Table
In my lectures, I often mention that athletic (physique) success is 90% nutrition and recovery, at least temporally. That is, even with a lengthy two-hour training session (which admittedly is a critical 8-9% of one's day), one is still left with 22 hours each day outside of the gym. That's over 90% my friends. Do you want to put in thought and effort only 10% of the time? What kind of health and progress do you expect to achieve living on Frankenfoods, even if you do train well? Maybe this little tirade was a wake-up call; maybe we all just need to be reminded of some basic, obvious stuff at times. But for those struggling to rid themselves of body fat and improve health, these adjustments away from Frankenfoods could be a measurable help. Don't make your diet a horror story. References and Related Reading
Want more references? Go for a walk in the country, look around and imagine what was available to the humans that evolved before you, you know, the ones who adapted and set your very genetic code. How many cheese puffs and cola drinks were around then? | ||||||||||||||||
posted by Musings of a Demented Mind @ 8:13 PM
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